sometimes losing is winning

You hear warnings about it all the time:  your virtual self really never does go away.  In my case maybe that’s not a bad thing.  After being gone for over a year, I can conjure up my old self with a few simple keystrokes.

I’m ready to – actually, I think I need to – start writing again.  Amazingly I remembered how to find my internet footprint and I spent part of my morning reading over my old posts, some with a smile, others with a cringe, and realizing how much my life has changed in the past year.

I could write pages about transitions, renovations, adjustments and variations, but perhaps the biggest change in the last year is, well, me.  Somehow, I lost 30 pounds since January.  It’s kind of surreal, because while I’ve known that I had some weight to lose, I had no idea that it was THIRTY POUNDS, and no real plan to do it.

Then, one day last winter, I was reading on some forum or other about a website called LoseIt.com, and I started playing around with it on a whim.  It’s hard to describe the process because I truly didn’t think it was going to be  a process.  I’d tried other sites previously, but I didn’t have the patience or commitment to continue with them.   I had no reason to believe that this time would be any different, and to be honest, it didn’t even really bother me.  I was so used to failure-by-lack-of-trying that I was kind of expecting to give up after a couple of days.

Strangely, this time it stuck.  Maybe the timing was right; maybe the site is amazing and magical, or maybe I just was more fed up with being fat than I’d realized.  Whatever it was, I started to lose weight, and that feeling was addictive.  For once, instead of feeling deprived by healthy eating, I felt empowered.  I don’t think I really believed that I’d be able to lose 30 pounds, but as the numbers on the scale started to creep downwards, I realized that it was more than completely possible; it was inevitable.

And now here I am, back to a size 4, feeling proud of what I’ve accomplished and walking a little taller.  It’s not just the physical difference; I feel like I can succeed at something.  I think I had stopped believing that quite a long time ago.

Accomplishment breeds aspiration, and I feel ready to take on other challenges, my blog among them.  I have no intention of writing a weight-loss blog; there are a ton (no pun intended) of those out there already and it’s just not who I am.  That’s not to say that I’ll never post about weight loss, or the struggles and successes I might have; after all, this is my space, and if that’s on my mind, that’s what you’ll get.

If you are new here, welcome. I hope you’ll stick around and even add your thoughts in the comments now and then.

And for anyone returning here after a long absence, (myself included), welcome back.

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One Response to sometimes losing is winning

  1. Pingback: timbits and patience | RhapsodyInBeige

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